when finding boo is a bad thing.

Snapchat GhostToday I tackle the topic of being, ago-old, but Millennial-y named, “Ghosted”.

Wtf is that? No literally, I’m not hip, explain.

Sure. Being “ghosted” is what happens when you meet someone (whether in person or online) and after several great conversations, they seemingly fall off the face of the fucking Earth.

Some, albeit less gullible, might assume that the aforementioned faller may not have actually fallen. Instead, they have become “too busy” or “uninterested”. Restated, they have become uninterested. Where most see this challenge as the final road block in the relationship (or lack of one), I see this as an opportunity.

What the fuck, Jess? I’d like to leave with my dignity here.

Okay fiiiiiiine. I can’t promise that you won’t be left on “read” forever, but if you really clicked with this person, and they’re worth…I don’t know, like a few seconds of your life and maybe a smidge of vulnerability, I don’t think you should give up that easy.

Cool, so. You caught me. I like them. Wtf could I possibly say? I know they got my last message…

Well, I’m so glad you asked.

My favorite way to un-spook is by using humor. I like something light, but also something that screams YO ASSHOLE, you know, without like, actually screaming it.

If you haven’t met:

“Wait are we done now?

I had at least four other conversation topics that I needed to discuss with you, regarding but not limited to:

Coffee? Spending too much for the premium, or no such thing?

The woman behind the screen: what Jess isn’t telling you.

Netflix & Chill, one San Diego girl’s legitimate weekend plans.

AND

…did she say POETRY? The inside look at the very last millennial.

If you have met: (Keep in mind this should be AFTER being ghosted for AT LEAST 24 hours)

“So, did you make it home okay?”funny text messages

Wait did these actually work for you?

 Yes, I Guinea pigged them a bunch of times for you, so that you didn’t have to (because I just love you guys so much and would sacrifice any amounts of dignity so that you don’t have to feel an ounce of shame for even a second!)

 First of all, you have no shame. Second of all, I’m not creative, what else you got?

No worries, my friend. You can always act like a sane human and not assume the worst. So they didn’t text you back ONE TIME? Maybe they truly did get busy. Maybe they read it while driving, meant to text you back once safely parked, but hit a riff in the road and forgot. Maybe they got super drunk, read it with one eye closed, made the attempt, and passed out with their phone on their face. (….Oh, just me then?).

If it was just the one time, I would just make no assumptions and aim for honesty.

If you haven’t met: “Hi!”

If you have met: “Hi!”

Ummm…

Wait a minute. You said you weren’t creative, but then get mad at me?! But here’s what you gain from this.

Dating is all about feeling each other out, getting to know one another and making sure that you’re the right fit. We can assume that everyone makes mistakes, we can assume that everyone misses a text once in a while. But, we can also assume that most people have their phone front and fucking center-face at least one time during the day and can full-well see that they have a message from you. Sending “hi” is a great way to test the waters. It’s saying “I’m still here…hello?” while avoiding coming off as too needy or desperate. You’re just, simply, saying hi.

 And if they don’t text back?

 Check their social media. If it hasn’t switched over to an “In Memoriam” page, maybe cut your losses. I’m not saying this is true for ALL of the time…people lose their phone, people travel and can’t find Wi-Fi, but also PEOPLE FUCKING IGNORE PEOPLE THEY DON’T WANT TO TALK TO.

And that quality probably didn’t make it to your list of amazing attributes in a potential lover.

To Be Considered: Think about the way that you communicate with someone. Do you respond almost immediately? Do you make your boy/girlfriend a priority when you have limited time to respond to messages? Do you appreciate when someone can text you back immediately? Sometimes people forget that communication is key. It’s not always THAT the conversation happens, but also HOW. Finding someone with compatible communication HOWs is just as important to finding someone who you feel comfortable conversing WITH.

But these are just the humble opinions of a hot blonde.

  • J

Comment below with questions, suggestions, OTHER AMAZING WAYS TO TEXT SOMEONE AFTER BEING GHOSTED, or slide in my DM’s for personal dating advice!

And don’t forget to check my Facebook page for tomorrow’s Daily Dilemma!

2 thoughts on “when finding boo is a bad thing.”

  1. A simple 👻 has a good track record with me… It’s either a good conversation re-starter or an appropriately labeled “cioa signore!”

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